I’ve not been feeling myself since the move. It’s mostly because I am a creature of habit and without a base or somewhere I can call home, my routines are often disrupted. Every so often I will be whisked away on another search for housing and then forced to reacclimatise in new environments. The problem is that we can’t afford to stay for very long so by the time I adjust to our new setup, it’s time to go.
But even in times like these, when I can’t find it in me to do very much, I am glad for birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. Marking dates pull me back to the present. There’s a sense of forward momentum which carries with it a promise that in time everything will sort itself out.
Today, we celebrate our 6th year together. While the process of being in Ireland hasn’t been entirely smooth sailing, I do not regret my decision for coming here. Anywhere that we might have a chance at building a life and spending it together without looking over our shoulders is where I want to be.
Today, I am grateful for this chance. I do not take our freedoms lightly and although I am still finding myself, and trying to make it work for me (so I can make it work for us), I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Love is worth the ordeal in broken systems.
Love is worth the distress of crossing borders.
Love is worth the work of reacclimatising over and over and over.
Love is worth all of it because she is worth all of it.
mostly earnest 